Self Image - part two (I really like this one, taken with kind permission from my wife's private blog)

So, to summarise - things were going according to my eight year old plan...

Then, I turned 31.

I had four boys, Buzz was working as a minister... and I had two children at school...

But I was unhappy with so many things.

Wasn't this always my plan? Weren't things the way I wanted them to be?

My plans hadn't changed all through highschool. This was a plan I held for many many years... in fact - till I was 31! In fact - it was a 23 yr old plan...

But, as my children were going to school, and I was into my thirties, I found myself increasingly dissatisfied with my plan.

And it took me a while - but I realised the problem - my plan had no chapter after having young children at home. It didn't have a 'what next' section. It was a plan that only went up to young children - and as so many of us know - the young children phase is very short. Kids grow, and go to school.

My plan was limited, and I was limited by following this plan. And I felt empty and lost and confused and disappointed.

I didn't know what came next, as I had never thought about it - and I felt old and like I had no identity anymore.